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  1. #1
    Farmer At Work Farmer1's Avatar
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    Dec 2014
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    Boyfrirnd 5.0 to Husband 1.0

    The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!
    The query:
    Dear Tech Support,
    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
    What can I do?
    Signed: Desperate
    The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)
    Dear Desperate,
    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
    Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
    Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
    In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
    Good Luck
    Tech Support Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
    Two of the greatest qualities
    to have in live are:

    PATIENCE
    and
    WISDOM

  2. #2
    Transparent Wall Technician crazed 9.6's Avatar
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    I know the feeling
    It's the upside down world

  3. #3
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    Guilt 3.0 and MIL 1.0, both to be avoided like the plague......run!!!!
    "Glass Half Full Always"

  4. #4
    Rocket Recovery Technician
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    Dec 2014
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    Oh and keep away from the dreaded headache 2.1 as it leads to extracurricular activity 8.0

 

 

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