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  1. #311
    Rocket Recovery Technician
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    Waooo we know what color the hair down below is NOT then HUH???

    SHHHHH my wife is Blonde and a lot smarter than me.


    Some really great ones jony604 Made the day go from BZZZZ to a HOOOOTTT...

  2. #312
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jony604 View Post
    A guy gets on a plane and find...

    A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.
    He immediately turns to her and makes his move.
    "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.
    So let's talk."
    The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, " What would you like to discuss?"
    "Oh, I don't know,"says the guy.
    "How about nuclear power?"
    "OK," says the blonde.
    "That could be an interesting topic.
    But let me ask you a question first.
    A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff--grass.
    Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
    The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
    "So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?
    Damn Son! Put a ring on that girl's finger!
    "Glass Half Full Always"

  3. #313
    Chief Officer
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    Are you kidding?

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

    The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

    The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?"

    The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

    And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

  4. #314
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jony604 View Post
    Are you kidding?

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

    The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

    The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?"

    The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

    And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
    He should have gone for $225,000............ to open.
    "Glass Half Full Always"

  5. #315
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    Off to Vegas

    A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied "I'm going to Las Vegas."
    He questioned her as to why she was going and she told him "I just found out that I can make $400.00 a night doing what I give you for free". He pondered that then went into the house and packed his bags and returned to the porch and with his wife. She said "And just where do you think you're going?"
    "I'm going too!" he replied.
    "Why?" She asked.
    "I want to see how you are going to live on $800.00 a year"!

  6. #316
    3 Time Nascar Pool Winner 4me2c's Avatar
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    Hmmmmm... Post # 267
    WWJD...!!!

  7. #317
    Chief Officer
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    Even though i am the other Joker here you don't think i come up with one every day;
    I tell You what You teach me how to find posted jokes and i will not do it again

    PS did know it from memory . But i have to choose between bad and worst like the next one

  8. #318
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    Two bachelors...😍😍

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.

    "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it."

    "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.

    "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'"

  9. #319
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    And thank you all of you that reply it doesn't matter what ,yes you too 4me2c
    it keeps the thread open so i don't have to go dig it out every morning

  10. #320
    Transparent Wall Technician crazed 9.6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jony604 View Post
    And thank you all of you that reply it doesn't matter what ,yes you too 4me2c
    it keeps the thread open so i don't have to go dig it out every morning
    thnx bro
    I get a laugh most every day and it keeps the memory of bwcbob alive at the same time.

    thnx so much for that
    "The illusion of freedom will continue for as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will take down the scenery, move the tables and chairs out of the way, then they will pull back the curtains and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater."
    - Frank Zappa

 

 
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