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  1. #321
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jony604 View Post
    Two bachelors...

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.

    "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it."

    "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.

    "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'"
    Too funny but likely very true!

    Quote Originally Posted by jony604 View Post
    And thank you all of you that reply it doesn't matter what ,yes you too 4me2c
    it keeps the thread open so i don't have to go dig it out every morning
    LOL!!
    "Glass Half Full Always"

  2. #322
    3 Time Nascar Pool Winner 4me2c's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jony604 View Post
    And thank you all of you that reply it doesn't matter what ,yes you too 4me2c
    it keeps the thread open so i don't have to go dig it out every morning
    Just Helping...!!!
    WWJD...!!!

  3. #323
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    A Saudi Prince went to Germany...

    A Saudi Prince went to Germany to study.
    A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."
    Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: "Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too

  4. #324
    Rocket Recovery Technician
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    Always good to read the jokes Jony604, We need as much humor as we can find daily.

  5. #325
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    My pleasure to to help
    Just don't do this ...

    A stranger's advice

    A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in.

    After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."

    The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."

    The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try.

    When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face.

    As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet.

    Seeing her he screamed, "What the hell are you doing in here?!"



    "Quiet!", she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."

  6. #326
    Transparent Wall Technician crazed 9.6's Avatar
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    baaa ba boom !!
    When every problem looks like a nail and every answer looks like a hammer, then we have a big problem here in our times.

  7. #327
    Transparent Wall Technician crazed 9.6's Avatar
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    I only did it once to bwcbob all thru his time, only once. It was a censorship thing, bob did not like it... did i mention that i only did it once ?

    it mighta been for this one
    'My pleasure to to help'
    When every problem looks like a nail and every answer looks like a hammer, then we have a big problem here in our times.

  8. #328
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jony604 View Post
    My pleasure to to help
    Just don't do this ...

    A stranger's advice

    A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in.

    After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."

    The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."

    The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try.

    When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face.

    As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet.

    Seeing her he screamed, "What the hell are you doing in here?!"



    "Quiet!", she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."
    Ohhhhh Snapppp!
    "Glass Half Full Always"

  9. #329
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    Last request...

    Two convicted murderers, who were sentenced to die by lethal injection on the same day, were led to the room where they would meet their Maker. The last rites were performed by the priest, the formal speech was given by the warden and the final prayers were said by the participants. Turning to the first man to die, the warden solemnly asked, "Son, do you have any last request?"

    "Yes sir, I do," replied the condemned man. "I love dance music. Could you please play 'The Macarena' for me one last time?"

    "Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"

    "Please, I beg you," pleaded the second man. "Kill me first."

  10. #330
    Chief Officer
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    Hung Chow calls into work and...

    Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legshurt, I no come work."
    The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today.
    When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex.That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."
    Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.

 

 
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