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  1. #1
    Bad Street Fighter Ryu's Avatar
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    in honor of bwcbob

    in the memory of bwcbob this was probably first joke posted by bwcbob.



    Two hours into my first day of work as a WalMart greeter, an ugly woman came in with her two kids.

    Hearing her swear at them, I said, "Good morning, welcome to WalMart. Nice kids, are they twins?"

    The mom answered, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why would you think they're twins? Are you blind or stupid?"

    I replied, "I'm not blind or stupid. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at WalMart."

    My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work
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  2. #2
    Renaissance Man Shooty's Avatar
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    See, ...that feels "good"!
    Thx

  3. #3
    Bad Street Fighter Ryu's Avatar
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    cool
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  4. #4
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    Dayum Son!!!!!!
    "Glass Half Full Always"

  5. #5
    Bad Street Fighter Ryu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zaang83 View Post
    Dayum Son!!!!!!
    hahahaha seriously, its really funny lol
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  6. #6
    Bad Street Fighter Ryu's Avatar
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    heres second joke from bwcbob

    Things Could Always Be Worse !!!! .....

    A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

    "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
    I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
    But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
    Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
    In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
    Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
    Love, your son, Joshua.
    P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!
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  7. #7
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    LMAO!!!! bwcbob worthy!
    "Glass Half Full Always"

  8. #8
    Bad Street Fighter Ryu's Avatar
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    thanks zaang83
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  9. #9
    Bad Street Fighter Ryu's Avatar
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    I will post here for now until staff comes up with direction

    Tough Choice ......
    A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
    Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
    The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says ‘nothing's wrong,’ and how I can make a woman truly happy."


    The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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  10. #10
    Diplomatic Emissary zaang83's Avatar
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    4 Lanes!!!!!!
    "Glass Half Full Always"

 

 
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