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  1. #41
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    A guy was standing in front of
    A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at the zoo, when a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.
    When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better, and he vowed revenge.
    The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo, went right up to the gorilla's cage, and opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on.



    Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up his horn, and did the same.
    Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half.
    The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man,... and pulled down his eyelid.

  2. #42
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    Is any one enjoying this jokes ? should i keep posting ? they are from bob's mother load
    i notice that some of the post don't go past crazed censorship please let me know crazed


    A husband and wife were in the...
    A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
    He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.
    When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"
    His wife replies, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."

  3. #43
    Super Modz crazed 9.6's Avatar
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    I do enjoy seeing them jony
    They put bwcbob in my heart everytime I read one
    Also, look at the Views count on this thread. It is up past 2600 views. And that came within 2 months , which is alot for a joke thread.... but understandable considering who we are honoring.
    Compare that to a recent Kodi thread which was started 6 months ago and does not have as many views. And Kodi is an important application to many of our members.

    It can be some work thou doing this , so when ever you want to stop is perfectly fine too.

    I thank you Jony604 and Ryu and Shooty and everyone else involved in this
    Last edited by crazed 9.6; 08-23-2021 at 09:30 PM.
    We are not in Kansas anymore Toto !!

    I need glasses to read the new lock-down decree.
    More precisely, TWO GLASSES of high octane Scotch !!

    They are lying. Every day they are lying.
    How do I know that you may ask ? ... It is because their lips are moving.

  4. #44
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    One wish

    A guy walking along the beach finds a bottle and picks it up.

    A genie pops out and says, "Thanks for letting me out. For your kindness I will grant you one wish."

    The guys says, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can't because I'm afraid to fly and ships make me deathly sick. My wish is for you to build a road from here to Hawaii."

    The genie says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Think of the huge pilings we'd need to hold up that highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. And think of all the cement that would be needed. Plus, since it's such a long span, there would have to be gas stations and rest stops along the way. No, that's just too much to ask. Impossible."

    The guy says, "Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to know. I'd like to be able to understand women...what makes them laugh and cry...you know, what makes them tick."

    The genie thinks a second, then asks, "You want two lanes or four?'

  5. #45
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    A guy is stranded on a desert...
    A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship."
    The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.



    She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
    "Ten years!" he says.
    She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
    He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
    Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
    He replies, "Ten years!"
    She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
    He takes a long swig and says, "Wow! That's fantastic!"



    Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
    And the man replies, "Oh my! Don't tell me you've got a computer in there!"

  6. #46
    Nascar Pool Diecast Two Time Winner 4me2c's Avatar
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    Did Somebody say Mirage...?!?

    That is a Goodin...!!!
    PAIX et JOIE, WWJD...?!?

  7. #47
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    haha to funny

  8. #48
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    A man walks into a restaurant...
    A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
    As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
    The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
    "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
    A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
    Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
    This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
    "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
    A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62."Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
    The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
    "Excuse me, sir.How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
    "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
    "That's brilliant!"says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
    "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
    The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
    The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

  9. #49
    Nascar Pool Diecast Two Time Winner 4me2c's Avatar
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    LMAO... Glad 2 C U Back "jony604" and 4me is Certain that "Bob" is also...!!! THANKS...!!
    PAIX et JOIE, WWJD...?!?

 

 
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