An Irish Girl comes back home for New Year's Eve.

Her father asked, "Where have you been all this time? Why did you not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't you call?"

The girl crying replied, "Dad, I became a prostitute."
"What!!?

Out of here you shameless harlot! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, daddy. If that's your wish.

I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for 4 million.

For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for you daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club and an invitation for you all to spend a fun New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."

"Now what was it ye said you had become, again?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "A prostitute dad!"

"Oh! You scared me half to death, girl!

I thought you said a Protestant. Come here and give your old man a hug!"