Went to the doctor .....

Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?'

'5 feet 4",' I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac. What a bitch.