Raffle for a buzzTV XR4000 9/30/2019 - ranagee

[Farmer1]

Thanks to NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000

Raffle is open to everyone members and staff.

Rules are simple 1 guess every 8 hr.
Correct answer will receive BuzzTv XR4000

Thanks to Ryu for the idea for this contest

I have picked a Joke from the Joke section

I need the title of the Joke and the Page it is on

Hope you all have fun

Good Luck

[Ryu]

After 35 years of marriage Page 11
Thanks NBS, buzz team, Farmer1, crazed and iptvtalk for donation of brand new and sexy box and contest. Can not wait to win this beast. Good luck

[theuduk]

A girl goes into the doctors.......page 12

Thanks to NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000

[4me2c]

LMOL...!

"Who shot the beaver?"...page #56


Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[floder2]

Christmas season. page 56

[Farmer1]

This may be a time consuming raffle reading all these jokes
Also a fun raffle

[carlosman]

having arrived at the edge of.....page 1muchas gracias

[Thai51]

A blonde went to a flight school ... page 11

[duhhud]

the outhouse .. page one ...Thanks to NBS and the Buzz team for the donation and farmer1 for taking the time to do it

[Keyboard]

Why do men break wind more than women?.............page....51
Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...!

[4me2c]

Frank was so excited to be going bear hunting Pg 56...! :cool:


Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[Keyboard]

three doctors...page 2

[xayoz]

Page number may be difficult as that will change as more get posted, but as of right now...

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant, Page 42

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?12303-Two-hillbillies-walk-into-a-restaurant

[Ryu]

A husband, proving to his wife page 3
this is getting interesting reading those jokes and makes me laugh lol:)

[Farmer1]

Page number may be difficult as that will change as more get posted, but as of right now...

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant, Page 42

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?12303-Two-hillbillies-walk-into-a-restaurant

This is true that the page will change, biggest thing with the page is so I can look up the joke and read it

[Thai51]

A man went in for a brain transplant operation page 51

[Farmer1]

A hint will come later today

[Marley]

Sharing Everything page18

[duhhud]

IPTV Talk Board Meeting.....page 51

[Nomad]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant - page 7

[andkaal]

When you are over 60 who gives a chit .. page 44.:D Very funny. A Farmer1 joke.. Thanks for another contest.. andkaal

[4me2c]

Little Johnny The Toothbrush Salesman pg 26...!



Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[floder2]

Little Johnny ....... page 9

[Shooty]

A Cowboy & his brothers >pg.16

[carlosman]

The Lottery & the Blonde.....page 13. muchas gracias

[Ryu]

Your Yearly Dementia Test (only 4 questions) page 51

[Farmer1]

Hint

1 It is 1 of bwcbob's jokes

[ranagee]

my new profession....page 36.Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk.

[Thai51]

A Barbie Doll....Page 5

[Keyboard]

You Might Be A Redneck If ...page 12

[dishuser]

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?40487-I-Get-No-Respect

[Ryu]

Cowboy without a horse page 4

[duhhud]

Two penguins.....page 21

[andkaal]

A rather attractive woman .. page 2

[4me2c]

A farmer walked into a bar ....pg 26...

A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his beer.
"What's up, John?" asked the farmer. "Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonnahave to close my shop."
"Now John, things could be worse," said Bob.
"How do you figure?" asked John.
"Well, John - you know my 'ornery cow, Bessie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept flicking her tail in my face.
So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the rafter.
Then, the nasty thing went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall.
Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me!
But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall.
Well wouldn't you just know it...my damn pants fell down."
"And John, if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you. :cool:

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[superbox]

Smart Man ....... Page 29

[iptv]

How were people born ...... Page 11

[bigstar]

Great Prices ... page 31

[minitor]

Three Guys in a Bar....page 28

[Keyboard]

A redneck Farmer.....page 1

[xayoz]

Girls Night Out, page 11

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?40433-Girls-Night-Out

[4me2c]

Worms pg# 28...

Worms

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:

The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.

So the Science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment."

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said - "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[Ryu]

Donkey raffle Page 18
Joke section is pretty busy lol 😂

[andkaal]

Oh your a bad one Farmer1 ... page 33:cool: andkaal

[Marley]

Childbirth at 65... page 21

[ranagee]

free sex.....page 24

[Thai51]

The efficiency expert concluded....Page 11

[superbox]

And The Old Lady Says..... page 29

[bigstar]

Three guys go in for a job int. ... page 27

[minitor]

3 guys walk into a bar ...... page 32

[Farmer1]

I will give another hint later today

[floder2]

Farmer1 ........now I know you said that the joke is one of bwcbob's .....but did you pick the joke willy Nilly ...or ..Eeny Meeny Miney Mo ...or was there a good reason for the joke you picked..........???

[duhhud]

The pharmacist.......page 2

[floder2]

I received my Buzztv 3100 today that I won in the last contest .....thank You Farmer1 and bwcbob .................!!!!!

Bob is so diligent with shipping.................... Thanks again CrazyBob...............

[crazed 9.6]

I received my Buzztv 3100 today that I won in the last contest .....thank You Farmer1 and bwcbob .................!!!!!

Bob is so diligent with shipping.................... Thanks again CrazyBob...............

crazy cool :)

[erickson]

A guy is sitting at a bar. ... page 16

[Nomad]

A note from mom - page 2

[Farmer1]

Farmer1 ........now I know you said that the joke is one of bwcbob's .....but did you pick the joke willy Nilly ...or ..Eeny Meeny Miney Mo ...or was there a good reason for the joke you picked..........???

It is a hand picked joke

[Ryu]

It is a hand picked joke

which hand right or left :p

[4me2c]

Yodeling ..... Really ?...pg #28

Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn. As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'

'That fellow traveling through needs a place to stay for the night, so I told him he could sleep in the barn,' said the farmer.

The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So
she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn. About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing was disheveled and there was straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. She fetched a bottle of wine and took it out to the barn! And she did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. 'How could he leave without even saying goodbye,' she cried. 'We made such passionate love last night!'

'What?' shouted the father, as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!'


The man looked back down from the
mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....

"LAIDTHEOLADEETOO"

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[zaang83]

Bubba had shingles.... (http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?41022-Bubba-had-shingles)
Pg 6

[floder2]

Better than a Doctor .......page 30

[Thai51]

A circus owner runs an ad.....Page 11

[superbox]

A lady went into a bar .... page 23

[Keyboard]

Farmer1 Was That You ?........page 34

[ranagee]

nice cheeks.....page 33

[bigstar]

Three old men were sitting around. .. page 20

[andkaal]

Blonde handy woman .. page 26

[minitor]

Three Hillbillies.... page 15

[duhhud]

Nurse Jenny....page 23

[Marley]

Guys don't laugh at this one .... page35

[4me2c]

Three Guys In A Bar... pg #28

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting,
"Your grandma's the best sex in town!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your grandma, and it was suh-weeeet!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "And your grandma liked it!!"

Finally the guy interrupts ..."Go home, Grandpa, you're drunk."

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[carlosman]

what was that dear?.....page 33

[Ryu]

i have bad and very bad news Page 2

[Nomad]

He Did WHAT !!! - page 36

[xayoz]

Old Josh was sat in his garden... page 13

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?40289-Old-Josh-was-sat-in-his-garden

[superbox]

Pirate visits bar..... page 24

[bigstar]

Three convicts were on the way. ... page 16

[Thai51]

Tetanus Shot....Page 11

[Farmer1]

Hint

1 It is 1 of bwcbob's jokes
2 There are 3 people in this joke

[4me2c]

Just Not Right .......pg #28

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun.
Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her.
Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus.
The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray.
If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume.
At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!"
The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty.
The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex.
Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex.
After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha!" he says, "I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume, "I'm the bus driver!"

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[minitor]

Three priests....... page 15

[duhhud]

$30.....page 36

[erickson]

Speeding Ticket......... page 3

[pizzadish]

Getting a little extra.... page 10

[Keyboard]

Don't hit the ducks......page 33

[floder2]

Upon arriving home, a husband... page 21

[ranagee]

How were people born.....page 33

[Ryu]

Honey, What Did the Doctor Say? page 3

[Nomad]

Denise and John ..... - page 15

[superbox]

Little Johnny ....... page 29
Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm.
When they come to the corral, he explained, "That's a bull and a cow, and he's serving her."
A little later on, he said, "That's a stud and a mare, and he's serving her too."
That night at supper, after everyone was seated and grace was said, Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Will you please serve the turkey?"
Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "If he does I'm eating a hamburger!"

[bigstar]

Two Drunks. ..... page 20

[andkaal]

A police officer page 14

[Thai51]

Three nuns...Page 12

[minitor]

Oh No...... page 28

[erickson]

Little Johnny Farmer. ..... page 31

[4me2c]

While the Cat's Away...pg #28

While the Cat's Away

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings.
Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[Keyboard]

Makes Sense To Me .....page 33

[iptv]

An older couple had a son, who... Page 3

[duhhud]

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250....page 35

[pizzadish]

Unheavenly blessed.... page 5

[4me2c]

Who's the Blonde here ?? ...pg #28

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the Blonde CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in her hand.
'Listen,' said the CEO, 'this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night.
Can you make this thing work for me?'
'Certainly,' said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
'Excellent, excellent!' said the CEO, as her paper disappeared inside the machine.
'I just need one copy...'

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[carlosman]

Three nuns...page 12

[andkaal]

Parking ticket .. page 13

[xayoz]

Just Not Right .......
page 29

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?37717-Just-Not-Right

[superbox]

Robot for sale: page 32

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some homework."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.

[Ryu]

Three Vampires Go To A Bar page 20

[bigstar]

Counseling..... page 30

[minitor]

The Blind Man ...... page 31

[Farmer1]

another hint coming

[Thai51]

There were these twin sisters...Page 14

[duhhud]

Faking Your Age...page 35

[Keyboard]

three women....page 33

[4me2c]

Time to Retire ......pg #28

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.

At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.

Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you.
I asked him what to give you?"

He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."

3 Main People, the rest are just Supporting Cast even though She Supported the Mail Man for awhile...! :cool:

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...!

[pizzadish]

Medicare Coverage...... page 21

[Farmer1]

It looks like i need to give another hint
Hint

1 It is 1 of bwcbob's jokes
2 There are 3 people in this joke
3 It is between page 10-22

[crazed 9.6]

It looks like i need to give another hint
Hint

1 It is 1 of bwcbob's jokes
2 There are 3 people in this joke
3 It is between page 10-22

This XR4000 is packed up and ready to ship.
All we need now is the winners name on it :)

[Farmer1]

trying to get this done the last hint should speed things up

[andkaal]

How were people born .. page 11 andkaal:rolleyes:

[Ryu]

This XR4000 is packed up and ready to ship.
All we need now is the winners name on it :)

so you want me to send you my shipping address lol I feel like a winner right now. :cool:

[Thai51]

Milk the cow...page 19

[Nomad]

guy goes into a drugstore... - page 13

[Ryu]

Unheavenly blessed page 5

[carlosman]

Italian Bread ....page 13 muchas gracias

[duhhud]

A guy went to his travel agent.... page 11

[ranagee]

A Rabbi, a Hindu and a Lawyer....page 10

[iptv]

Don't Steal The Fruit ..... Page 16

[Keyboard]

Three priests......page 15

[crazed 9.6]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIQUMdksu7I

[crazed 9.6]

that not a hint at all.
Farmer never tells me answers on these raffles.
I think because I might slip and give away... but that is just a theory

[4me2c]

Toilet Seat....pg #21

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat.

The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear.

She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.

She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and away they go.

When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament.

The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"


"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[pizzadish]

A woman was walking... page 20

[superbox]

The wine taster ... page 18
At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the
director started looking for a new one to hire. He posted a sign at
the entrance to the building...

EXPERIENCED WINE TASTER NEEDED --
POSITION STARTS IMMEDIATELY.

A retired Army Aviator named "Ace," drunk and with a ragged dirty look and smelling of last night's rounds, strolled by the building and saw the sign. He went into the building to apply for the position.

Aghast at his appearance, the director wondered... how to send him away but, to be fair, he gave him a glass of wine to taste.

The old Army pilot held the glass up to his left eye, tilted his head toward incoming sunlight and studied the contents looking through the glass.

He then took a sip and said, "It's a Southern California Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Somewhat low-grade but acceptable."

"That's correct," said the boss. Glancing at his assistant he
said..."Another one, please."

The old Army pilot took the goblet, full of a deep red liquid, stuck
his nose into the glass, sniffed deeply and took a long slow
sip....rolling his eyeballs in a circle, he then looked at the
director and said... "It's a Cabernet Sauvignon, eight years old,
south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for the finest results."

"Absolutely correct. A third glass," said the director.

Receiving another glass, again, the Army pilot eyed the crystal, took in a little bit of the aroma and sipped very softly... ''It's a pinot blanc champagne, very high grade and exclusive,'' said the pilot calmly.

The director was astonished and winked at his assistant to suggest something.

She left the room and came back in with a wine glass half-full of urine.

The old Army pilot eyed it suspiciously... a color he could not quite recall.

He took a sip, swishing it over his tongue and across his teeth,
musing upward all the while.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't
get the job, I'll name the father."

[bigstar]

Sharing Everything. ... page 18

[minitor]

Italian Wedding Night ..... page 20

[4me2c]

Cabbies....pg # 21

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."

The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud... They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[Keyboard]

Look on the bright side.....page 13

[xayoz]

Three old men were sitting around ...

page 20

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?39240-Three-old-men-were-sitting-around

[iptv]

Politics in the US..... page 20

[Ryu]

Starting At 8:05 page 22

[andkaal]

100 pound pig .. page 21 .. andkaal:o

[superbox]

Corruption .... page 22
Corruption ....

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

[Thai51]

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead page 22

[bigstar]

Poor Tom. .... page 21

[zaang83]

Canadian Humorpg 3

[pizzadish]

The Bad News ..... page 18

[aCiDjEsUs]

A little old man shuffled slow... page 11

[ranagee]

There were these twin sisters...page 14

[duhhud]

Thrilled at the Speed ...page 11

[minitor]

The Biker..... page 20

[erickson]

The CIA ........page 19

[carlosman]

A blonde, a brunette and a red.......page 22

[4me2c]

I recently had a visitor from...pg #14

I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas.

For three days all I heard from him was "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that," etc. It eventually became very annoying.

Being from Niagara Falls, I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "Mighty Niagara", knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this "Wonder of Water and Power".

While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes.

It was then I asked him: "Do you have anything like this in Texas?"

He waited a moment before he answered: "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it."

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[Shooty]

3 Vampires go to a Bar , page 20

[Nomad]

parking ticket - page 13

[dishuser]

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?39172-Horse-back-riding

[superbox]

The Biker & the Lion.... page 15
A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life

The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?


'The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I voted for Trump".

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on the front page:

** U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH. **

And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days

[Thai51]

The Loss Of Engines....page 21

[Keyboard]

Don't Steal The Fruit .....page 16

[bigstar]

Strong Medicine for the Nun. .... page 20

[ranagee]

Little Johnny is taking a shower...page 14

[iptv]

Darling...... Page 13

[duhhud]

Mayday, Mayday !!!!page 17

[minitor]

The Professor ....... page 12

[erickson]

The blonde mortician. .... page 12

[pizzadish]

Obituary... page 10

[4me2c]

Toilet Paper .......pg #21

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.

"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"

"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."

He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."

Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll."

"Give me the No Name," she says.

She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[aCiDjEsUs]

The House Rules ...... page 31

[4me2c]

First Customer....pg #13

A young man just had his first customer, which turned out to be a BIG BURLY truck driver.

The young man walked up to the table where the truck driver was sitting and asked; can I take your order sir?

The truck driver replied, sure kid I want three flat tires and two headlights.

The young man was very puzzled and said, I beg your pardon? The truck driver said again, look kid; I want three flat tires and two headlights.

The young man was still puzzled, but replied; yes sir, whatever.

The young man then took the request to his boss who was the head cook.

He told him about the truck driver's order, and that he wanted three flat tires and two headlights, “I think he's in the wrong place.”

The head cook said, I know what he wants, he wants three flap jacks and two eggs sunny side up; the truck driver is just trying to be smart, I know him.

The cook said to the waiter here, take this bowl of beans, give it to him and say this.

The truck driver said, Listen kid, I didn't order this; I said I wanted three flat tires and two headlights.

The waiter replied, Well sir, the head cook said while you wait for your parts, you can gas up!

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[xayoz]

First Customer....

page 13

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?40343-First-Customer

[Nomad]

Medicare Coverage - page 21

[pizzadish]

Polishing Apples. Page 18

[Farmer1]

It looks like i need to give another hint
Hint

1 It is 1 of bwcbob's jokes
2 There are 3 people in this joke
3 It is between page 10-22
4 lets bring it down to page 13-19

[dishuser]

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?39877-Three-Hillbillies

[Thai51]

The Importance of Punctuation ....page 13

[Ryu]

sharing everything page 19

[carlosman]

A Cowboy & his brothers...page16

[Farmer1]

The Importance of Punctuation ....page 13

I couldn’t use that one, I have to be one of the worst people for not using punctuation.

[zaang83]

Spoke to the animals, pg 19....


An FYI to all contestants......I had to go to my settings and use the forum default for "number of posts per page" and also set my viewing to "last year" to see beyond page 7 with 20 posts per page per my custom viewing settings. <- this might be a clear as mud but I usually customize my view which messed up my ability to see beyond a certain time and also the page count.

[Keyboard]

Three convicts were on the way......page 17

[floder2]

We've all heard about people page 13

[duhhud]

A Christmas story..page 17

[monty49]

Words and the Impressions they give....page 13

[ranagee]

Two prostitutes......page14

[superbox]

One Smart Panda...... page 16
A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night.

The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place.

After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves.

The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says.

"For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute."

The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money."

The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up."

She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary.

The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.”

[Shooty]

3 Hillbillies pg.15

[bigstar]

Chet Sings. ..... page 16

[andkaal]

Poor Grandma .. page 14

[minitor]

Irish Alzheimer's ............ page 13

[erickson]

Little Johnny goes up to his ...... page 18

[iptv]

The Golden Saloon... Page 17

[4me2c]

Walk on water.....pg #16

Joe heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays.

So, on his 21st birthday, Joe and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake. "If they did it, I can too!" he insisted.

When Joe and Brian arrived at the lake, they rented a boat and began paddling. When the got to the middle of the lake, Joe stepped off of the side of the boat... and damn near drowned.

Furious and somewhat shamed, he and Brian headed for home.

When Joe arrived back at the family farm, he asked his grandmother for an explanation. "Grandma, why can I not walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?"

The feeble old grandmother took Joe by the hands, looked into his eyes, and explained, "That's because your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were born in January... you were born in July, dear."


Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[Nomad]

Thrilled at the Speed ... - page 11

[pizzadish]

A guy is sitting at a bar ...page 16

[dishuser]

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?39480-Three-sons-left-home

[Ryu]

Wild Party page 16

[carlosman]

Donkey raffle....page 19. muchas gracias

[aCiDjEsUs]

There were these twin sisters... Page 14

[Keyboard]

Co-Worker.....page 17

[duhhud]

Baldness...page 13

[ranagee]

A husband and wife were driving……page 15

[superbox]

Bird-lover Tom...... page 19
Each evening bird-lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl.

One night, an owl called back to him.

For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."

Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next-door neighbor.

"My husband spends his nights... calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

[Thai51]

Six months...page 16

[bigstar]

Please Show The I.D. .... page 18

[andkaal]

Local sherriff was looking:rolleyes: .. page 18 ... andkaal:rolleyes::cool:

[minitor]

A man walks into a restaurant... page 15

[erickson]

And the Fairy Said. ...page 14

[pizzadish]

The lucky old man! page 16

[4me2c]

Oh My....pg #16

The marriage between the elderly farmer and his young wife was not working out too well, so the farmer consulted his doctor for advice.

"The next time you're down in the field plowing and feel a earning for your wife don't wait until lunch time or the end of the day, but quit what you're doing and go to the house," said the doctor.

"I tried that," said the farmer, "But by the time I get to the house, I am so tuckered out, it's no use."

The doctor thought for a minute, "Take your shotgun with you when you leave the house in the morning and if you feel the urge, shoot the gun and she will come down there where you are."

A few weeks later the two men met on the street.

"How did it work out?" asked the doctor.

"Fine, the first three days," said the farmer,

"But then hunting season opened and I haven't seen her since."

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! :cool:

[duhhud]

And The Fairy Said….page 15

[Ryu]

A little hard of hearing! Page 16

[superbox]

God visited a single woman.... page 19
God visited a single woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and sex if she wants to get into heaven.

The woman said she would try her best.

God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.

“Not bad” said the woman, “I've given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my knickers to one side and made love to me right then and there.”

“They don't like that in heaven, said God.

The woman replied: “They're not too happy about it in Costco either!”

[minitor]

Careful What You Say ...... page 19

[xayoz]

Three Hillbillies....

page 15

http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?39877-Three-Hillbillies

[Nomad]

Oh Murphy ..... - page 15

[bigstar]

After the Office Party. .... page 15

[erickson]

The Skin Graft ...... page 15

[zaang83]

Three convicts were on the way...pg17

[andkaal]

Ford Granda .. page 19 andkaal:rolleyes:

[monty49]

The lucky old man! page 17

[Farmer1]

A husband and wife were driving……page 15

Congrats ranagee you are the winner of the XR4000
Thanks again to NBS and the buzz team
Thanks everyone for playing I enjoyed this one as I always do

I was ask how I picked this one, I said it was hand picked
My wife and I have had this discussion more the once, needless to say she is more often right, or so I let her believe she is

[4me2c]

Hey Congratz ranagee...!

Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...! and a Big THANKS to bwcbob for the Jokes and also Ryu for the Idea to us them... :cool:

[superbox]

Congrats ranagee, that was so much fun. Thanks Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team and IPTVTALK.

[Ryu]

Congrats to ranagee for winning one hell of fine box. Enjoy your new toy:) indeed it was so fun reading these funny jokes.🙂
Thanks to Farmer1, crazed 8.4, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest.

[Nomad]

Congrats, Ranagee.

This was really a fun contest. Enjoyed re-reading the many good jokes to determine which one would be the likely winner.

[minitor]

WTG Ranagee!!!...... Indeed, this was a very entertaining contest. Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz Team, crazed 8.4 and IPTVTALK for all the fun we all get from time to time.

[bigstar]

Congrats ranagee! !! Enjoy your new toy. ..... Good one too.
Farmer1, crazed 8.4, NBS and the Buzz Team really make a fun site of IPTVTALK.
Thank you all !

[zaang83]

Congrats renagee!!!

[ranagee]

Thank you all. A Special Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...!

[duhhud]

Congrats ranagee..thanks everyone for the chance to win this box

[Keyboard]

WTG Ranagee!!!......Congrats & Thanks again to NBS and the buzz team.
KB

[iptv]

Congratulations Ranagee, enjoy the new toy

[Farmer1]

Congrats to ranagee for winning one hell of fine box. Enjoy your new toy:) indeed it was so fun reading these funny jokes.🙂
Thanks to Farmer1, crazed 8.4, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest.

In my hast to go farming today I forgot to thank Ryu for coming up with the idea of the jokes for a Raffle

A big thanks Ryu this raffle idea was awesome

Any other ideas are greatly appreciated

[Ryu]

It's my pleasure Farmer1 and I'm glad that everyone liked it:). Let's see if can come up with something new or more interesting idea.

[xayoz]

congrats rangee
thanks for another great time farmer, nbs, buzz, and ryu

[andkaal]

Great contest Farmer1.:o And to all involved a big thanks also.. Congratz also to rangee. Enjoy and let us know how it works. :oandkaal

[Farmer1]

thread closed